For The Love of My Pain
by genora.shackelford9
Summary: Kendall has a new boyfriend. They've been dating for a year and a half. Logan goes through denial, realization and trying to come to terms with his feelings, as he tries to get Kendall away from Daren. What happens when Kendall falls pregnant. Can Logan save him from him or will Kendall become another victim?
1. Chapter 1

_**Hello Readers, I'm back. My Secret Life As The Doctors Husband is gonna be on hiatus for a while I'm still trying to the develop the character's as well as the story plot ,plus I have a few problems with detail; but I promise I will work it out within a few weeks. Anyway, this kinda popped into my head ,plus I always wondered why there wasn't enough Sub-Kendall fics. I mean people, What the hell? Everyone has a right to their own opinion ,but that's just mine This is a Self- harm, mpreg, abuse, and rape fic. This is my second story I hope it will be better than my last . Kinda disappointed in lack of reviews but it's only been posted for a week so, Patience is the key to happiness right? Wrong. Haha, just kidding. Anyway I hope I do pretty good or okay in perspective.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR but if I did Logan would be fucking Kendall on the show everyday. Not to mention, the Jarlos action Woo woo! (Logan POV) Ch. 1 Denial**_

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_I sat on the couch as I scribbled on a piece of paper, along with James and Carlos. Katie sat on the floor munching out of a bowl of popcorn. We were watching the new horror movie Paranormal Activity 2./ I wasn't really that interested. Horror movies jut wasn't my thing .plus I wasn't that scared compared to that prank Carlos pulled on me a few months ago. I tried to drown out all the screams ,as the brunette in a green plaid shirt ran across the screen, the jock following in pursuit. I personally thought horror movies were overrated. It was just another way of adults thinking we teenagers were crazy, and couldn't be trusted without anything ending in someone dying. It was stupid._

_I was getting my homework done early. I had a week to do it. But I never believed in squandering time. It was too precious. The guys thought It was silly ,but that's just how I am. Kendall and Daren walked in holding hands. Daren was Kendall's boyfriend. He had shaggy brown shaggy locks, gorgeous caramel skin, and captivating blue eyes. Ever since he got here, every girl wanted him. I mean he was big-chested as well. Who wouldn't. He was a good-looking guy ,but it was like he didn't have to try. I was intimidated ,but I also hated his guts._

It's not like he wasn't an okay guy, he just gives me a bad feeling, you know. His charisma radiated off him like the smell off Carlos' gym socks after hockey practice. Yes, It's that bad and it scared the fuck out of me. Then again, that's probably my nerves' running wild. They've been dating for a year and a half now. Kendall started dating ,after James and Carlos announced they were having an affair. Carlos broke up with his girlfriend ,and they've been in love ever since. Daren moved to the Palm Woods, after he started doing a solo album with Gustavo. He instantly asked Kendall out and he said yes. Of course. For the first week it was Daren this and Daren did that. It got off my freaking nerves ,but Kendall was happy so.

_They've been inseparable ever since. Literally, Kendall didn't go anywhere without him. It kind of worried me , but then again I've always been paranoid. I looked up from my textbook slightly ,as I watched Kendall sit on Daren's lap. The blonde's sides of his mouth lifted into a smile as Daren whispered in in Kendall's ear. For the past week, I've been noticing some things I don't normally notice. The way bangs flip over his eyes ,a**s **he talks. How the light hits his skin make it look so creamy and soft. It made me want to feel all over it. The way, Every muscle aligns so perfectly that it makes his walk look so enticingly beautiful. It made me want to melt. The way his hips sway in such a slow ,but antagonizing motion that made me want to fuck him. The way his lips are so gorgeously plush red that it reminded me of roses._

_The way I can feel every vibration from his voice when he talks. When you look in those green filled pools, you fill such an energy that you're transported to another dimension where you swear you can feel all the greatest emotions imaginably._

_ The he had the most delicate eyelashes, but the most bushy eyebrows that was strange, but beautiful at the same time ,or how every speech he makes has a special essence that could make anyone smile, happy or bubbly on the inside. He made everything a passionate experience that everyone enjoyed. I think that is why a few reasons why he was our leader. A person that loved life so much, he could make anyone else love it too. A smile came to my face at the thought. I frowned. Then again, it was strange. I I noticed all these things. I never considered myself gay like James and Carlos. I mean I dated Camille for God sakes. I mean I still love her, but more as a sister than a girlfriend, you know. Plus, I never put much thought into my sexuality, I always believed I was straight. I like girls, but I guess being gay kind of of explains why I find him beautiful. I mean I couldn't be in love with my best friend right?_

Plus, he was a guy. Not a girl ,but a guy. I never had a problem with gays. I mean everyone should have a right to love whoever they want. I don't have a problem with that. It just the thought of me being gay that bothered me a bit. I never really considered things in my perspective to be clear with at least a scientific explanation to back up my theory. There had to be a reason why I loved him so much. I mean does an answer like that even exist. I didn't know if it was lust or love ,but I loved the idea of it for some reason. I couldn't explain it. Ii was so fucking confusing. I smiled hesitantly at Kendall and Daren gave me a blistering glare. He narrowed his eyes at me as he tightened his grip on Kendall. I watched as Kendall fidgeted uncomfortably and a look of panic flashed across his features for a millisecond. Then ,it vanished as quick as it came.

I frowned at his uneasiness. Then again, I've been noticing some strange things as well about Kenny. He is a lot more distant since he met Daren. It's like he he avoids to be alone in the same room with either one of us. He didn't like it when we ask about where he's going. He especially hates when we ask about Daren. He just starts up a random conversation or he just stays silent, go's into our room, and slams the door. I was truly worried about Kenny. Now, he plains starts avoiding us at all costs. He's never home anymore. He's always at Daren's. I was really worried. I watched as Kendall laughed. Then again, he might be fine. He's always fine. Well, I hope so. That didn't stop the never-ending anxiety that flooded the pit of my stomach.

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_(Kendall_ POV)

I_ watched as my boyfriend stared intensely at Logan. Now, he was crushing my ribcage with his hands enough to leave bruises. " Baby, could you lighten up on your grip/ " he growled and I felt the vibration rumble between our bodies._

He grabbed my hand forcefully as he pulled me out of 2J. I heard James yell my name, but it was now in the distance. He grabbed me harder by my arm, forcing me up the stairs. I swear if he kept doing this it would come off. As soon as we got to the door he harshly pushed me inside. I wasn't that surprised ,compared what he said to me a few minutes ago. I gently closed the door of 3K. I gently turned my head, rewarding me with a slap to the face. My face hit the door making me slide down the door in agony. Blood rolled down my mouth as it dripped out my nose. I slowly looked up at the man that did this to me.

His fists were clenched. The veins on the side of his head tighten. He squatted down to to look at me and his eyes showed no love in them. He was very angry. I was so scared right now. My heart was beating a thousand times a minute. He punched m,e in the face and smashed my head against the wall, making me hit the the floor. He stated kicking me and I curled up and fetal position. Why was he doing this to me? What did I do wrong? My lungs on fire ,as he kicked me harder and harder. I tasted the familiar metallic taste on my tongue. He grabbed me by my hair, yanking me to eye-level.

_ "You are such a fucking whore. So what, you fucking Logan now." I stayed silent as I trembled. I felt his breath against my face as he spat those venomous words. He yanked harder, making me cry out in excruciating pain._

_ " Answer me. Goddammit"_

I sobbed under his gaze " No, You know, I love you,"

_ he screamed in anger and slapped me to the floor " Liar, you are nothing ,but a filthy whore. You like being a slut. Parading around the Palm Woods like a fucking whore. Huh, you like that. I refuse to be disrespected by a little bitch like you. You need to learn your place." He grabbed my body harshly. He slammed me face down on the couch. _

_"Did you like it when he fucked you uh, Kenny" Tears ran down my face burning tear tracks into my cheeks.  
_

_ "I cried harder"I didn't do him. I swear," Daren nodded, not believing a word he said. " Well, you know what they say, dogs need to be punished. " He ripped open my shirt and my eyes were burning with tears._

_"Remember this Kenny?" as he pulled out a Swiss army knife. The metal gleamed as the light hit it and my eyes went wide. He brought it close to my cheek and ran the cold metal across my skin down my body. He ran it down my torso and he started cutting a line from my last ab-pack to my belly button. It hurt as the cool air hit my open wound. He chuckled darkly as he undid my pants and shoved in without any preparation. I scream as I felt the burning feeling in my ass and arm. He started at a fast pace slamming in and out of me. He ran the knife across my arm twice smearing it on my body as he brutally raped me " Yeah, bitch scream like the true whore you are.'_

_ It felt like and adrenaline rush as he cut me. It was like pain and pleasure in one as he continuously hit my prostate. It was pure ecstasy, but I couldn't help but wonder why he was doing this to me at all. He was my heart and soul. I would never betray him .i felt wetness and I could only figure is blood from all the pain he was causing me. Soon, I felt wetness release inside my ass and pulled out cumming all over me. He grabbed my chin "You are a useless, fat piece of shit and you're lucky that I even want you. If you ever cross me again ,it'll be far worse." he said holding the knife to my neck._

_ He said throwing me to the floor. I sobbed as I pulled my legs to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. ' I love you. I'd never betray you.' I yelled at him. He glared at me "You better not, or I'll make sure you never cheat on anyone else again." He kissed me on the lips as I cried. He grabbed a towel and threw it at me  
_

_ " Clean yourself up.' he pulled up his pants as he walked out of 3K, leaving me lonely. I sobbed into my blood stained hands. It was all my fault. I knew He didn't like Logan. Why did I have to keep testing him. He's right. I am a piece of shit. It's all my fault. I deserved this. All of It._

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_**My heart broke writing this. I hope I get good reviews. Review if you want me to continue it.** _


	2. Chapter 2

Hello, readers this isn't a chapter. I'm writing it as I speak though. _**My Secret Life As A Doctor's Husband and For The Love Of My Pain**_ is on temporary hiatus. I'm working on them. I might not publish a chapter for the both of them until after the first of May. I'm kinda at a stand still right now. I'm glad ya'll want me to continue _**For The Love Of My Pain and I will but after I do, I won't post another chapter at least until 10 reviews for both stories. I want opinions people. I need it "puppy dog eyes'. Anyway, I would gladly appreciate it if you did. Ya'll are special to me as my readers, and I need special reviews. Thank you all very much for reading. I'll write the chapters in three days so don't take me off your alert or favorite list. I love you all hugs and kisses. Love, Genora**_


	3. Accusations

**Hello, my beautiful, fantastic, and wonderful readers. Thank you, for staying with me. I might not post until 5 reviews for this chapter. Good or bad, I'm not picky. I just would appreciate it if you just pm me for any ideas for stories or anything for that matter. I'm open for suggestions. I'm thinking of doing a Bethan. I really don't know. I'm working out the kinks . Probably A Jakeward in about a month. Anyway, I hope this chapter catches your attention. I'm trying hard to make Daren a douche, but it is hard considering I've never really been mean. But I'm trying my best if you have any suggestions for the next chapter, I will take them into consideration. Like I said, your criticism is compliments and inspiration. It's strange, but true. Plus, thank you all. Plus and _2crazy2handle _for your reviews. Thank you all for following and favoritng. I hope I get more reviews for this chapter than my other one. Anyway, on with the story.**

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Chapter 2 – Accusations

( Kendall P. O. V)

I sat curled up in the chair, as the light poured in through the window. My eyes were bloodshot with tears and completely emotionless. As I tried to stifle back sobs. I heard the noise of a door knob turning, as Daren stepped through it . He was carrying a big batch of roses colorful roses in one arm, and a packaged gift in the other. I smiled tearfully, as he placed them in my arms. " Daren. " I said, in a small voice, with visible hints of love. He brought his hands to my face, cupping it, as he kissed my bruised lips ,as he took a a hold of my waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck.

" Baby, I'm sorry If I made you mad. I'm so sorry.' as fresh tears ran down my face. He wiped them, with a evil smirk.

" Then don't." he growled. "but I forgive you.'

I sniffled slightly" You know, I'd never love anyone else, right?

He nodded. " I know, It's just so hard not to think that when you have such a beautiful guy to come home to everyday."he caressed my cheek, and I leaned into his touch.

"Now, we need to hurry. I don't need to hear any shit from you mom about you being late over some dumb-ass bullshit I didn't have nothing to do with." I noticed how he said the word 'mom' with extra venomously, as he tossed the bag at me. I looked in it and gasped. It was a hockey jersey that read " Daren's Love " engraved in white ,above a number 6. " Oh baby.' he shrugged " I knew you'd like it since you're into that type of shit."

" You always did know how to treat me right."

"You know it, baby?" as he slapped my ass.

"Now, let's go before we have to hear another slurred comments from one of your punk ass friends.' I nodded as he handed me some foundation. ' Put this on, when you got there. I don't want any questions from your nosy ass best-friend.' I nodded, as I tried to ignore the stinging words as I grabbed the things he gave me. We walked out the room with his arm around my shoulders. I avoided the stares, and the eyes full of confusion, worriness, and concern. We approached J, and he pushed me against the wall, my legs wrapping themselves around his waist ,as he kissed me. He leaned over to myn ear and whispered ' Meet me in the room at 3. don't be late or you'll regret it.'

I shivered as he let me drop to the floor, and he walked away. I stood trying to compose myself, as I opened the door ,slowly peaking inside, and scanning the room with my eyes. When I realized no one was in the room, I stepped in closing the door, quietly. My back flat against it, letting out a breath, I didn't know I was holding. Phew, no one was up ,yet. If mom found out, I was sneaking out at night, She'd have my ass. I slowly made my way to my room, taking off my clothes and throwing them in the hamper, as I went to the bathroom. I let the watery mist spray on my face and the soap cascade down my body, removing any evidence from last night. His semen, his scent, and everthing washing down the drain. I scrubbed hard over my bruises, wincing from the pain, as the hot water washed over my wounds. I know he didn't mean it to do this to me. I mean it's not like I'm James. I'm not gawking gorgeous for everyone to see.

I'm lucky he even wants me. Yet, all I do I do is make him mad. Tears soaked my face ,as I pulled a piece of the metal blade from my razor , slicing it across my arm, slightly wincing again from the blade opening my skin. I sliced through an old wound on my arm. I'm mostly wore long sleeve shirts since it was Fall ,so I could hide them. I cut one, twice, three times until I finally felt calm enough . I smiled satisfied, as a sheet of blood ran down my arm.

The scorching hot water hit my skin ,and I hissed, as i watched the blood stained water ran down the drain along with my pain, sorrow, and shame. Cuts lined both my arms and some bruises started to yellow on my abdomen and legs, because someone flirted with me last week and Daren didn't like it. I was his ,and he was mine. He loved me and people who love each other, don't give up on each other, right?

Yeah, he had some issues, but we could work it out, right? It's not like it's his fault, I'm the way I am. I scrubbed harder ,as I sobbed. After I finished, I dried myself off and changed my clothes. I took a small breath ,as I slipped the foundation out of my pocket, and sat at the mirror on the dresser. I spread it across my bruised skin quickly on my face, making sure to cover up some of my visible bruises. I sighed as I tried to blend it in with my skin, as I wet my lips, making a face at the metallic taste of blood on my tongue. I hope no one notices the difference.

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(Logan's P. O. V)

I held my books in my and I balanced them on my right arm. I just came from Camille's After our breakup a few months ago, we remained his friends. I mean she was a good girlfriend, but we just didn't connect the way we thought as lovers, Plus, she was happy. After we broke up, she started dating Lucy. They were strangely a cute couple. They shared a lot of interests that me and Camille didn't. I smiled slightly, but it faltered as soon as I opened the door. I gasped as I saw Kendall rub something on his cheeks. " Kendall" . He jumped at my my face as he hid the thing behind his back. "What's that on your face?" I watched as random emotions ran across his face. " Nothing." as he grabbed whatever he was holding and tried to rush out of the room past me.

I grabbed him by the wrist and gently yanked him back in the room, standing him right in front of me., grabbing the thing. " Logan."

I looked at it ignoring his protests. '"Why do you have foundation?" he yanked it back, and I noticed a big yellow bruise under his sleeve.

" Kendall?" He yanked it away and I flinched surprised.

Why did Kendall have a bruise on his arm? Most importantly, what was he hiding from me? We told each other everything. He would tell me if something is wrong right?

' Logan, I'm fine, okay? It's nothing ,so fucking drop it. Geez." he exploded at me.

I was surprised. I looked at Kendall's eyes and something wasn't quite right in them. Something had to be wrong. Could it?

Kendall shoved past me angrily , shoving my shoulder in the process. He stomped out of the room. I followed and saw the guys seated at the open kitchen. Carlos sat side by side, while Katie sat beside Carlos. I watched as Kendall grabbed an apple and was on his way back to our room when, his mom stopped him. "Wait a minute, turn around and walk back this way." Kendall sighed and put on a fake smile " Yes, Mom?" She held a look of uncertainty. " Sweetie, are you okay? You didn't come home last night?" He sat beside me and avoided my stare ,knowing I was looking his way. He took a bite out of his apple, masking his new lie ' I'm fine. I was at Daren's .' Carlos murmured and I looked at him suspiciously as James slapped him upside the head, giving him a look.

" Ow , what? What did you do that for? Damn." James smiled sarcastically.

" Oh, I'm sorry, baby." as James kissed his head and smacked it again .

" Hey?!" Carlos glared and James reflected him " Don't be a dumb-ass."

Katie burst out laughing " That's tough love, brother."

I turned my attention back to Kendall as Mrs. Knight slid me a plate of waffles. " Okay, but no more all nighters. You know, I can't sleep well at night knowing I'm missing one of my boys." as she kissed his forehead..

" Boyfriend or not?" as she looked at James and Carlos.

" Why did you look at us when you said ?"

She narrowed her eyes giving them a look that said it all. James blushed, knowing what she meant. Kendall dipped off to the room and I slid closer to James. " Guy's ,did you notice some things wrong with Kendall this week?" as Katie got up to watch the TV. I mean it's been a week since movie night and he's been acting stranger and stranger.

Carlos shrugged " A little, but Logan, I'm sure my answer isn't gonna change. I'm sure he's fine. I mean my answer didn't change yesterday and it's not changing today. Stop worrying. You're not trying to stalk your boy toy are you?"he said teasing.

I blushed and groaned lowly, After my sudden thoughts of Kendall, I told James and Carlos, and the suggested I had a crush on Kendall. I didn't. I mean I don't. I can't, right? Whatever, I'm not gonna worry about that now. " don't have a crush on Kendall."

Carlos choked back a laugh" Yeah, and I'm not fucking him. Are you in denial, Logie" he said teasing as James punched him in the arm.

"I don't" I retorted.

"I know."

"I'm serious, Carlos." I said, warningly.

"Fine, you don't like him, you don't like him ,that's that."I growled at his childishness.

"but if you're that worried we'll do some digging. Only because he rubs me the wrong way and I fucking hate the bastard.' I smiled

" Thank you" as I walked off, ignoring their last words.

"He so loves him. Jaime, we have to do some serious digging." James smiled interested" Anytime, baby." as he kissed his cheek.

I ignored what they were saying. I didn't want to know nor did I really care, but I did know something was wrong with my Kenny and I wasn't gonna stop until I found out.

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**So that was it. I hope y'all liked it. I'm trying to put James as basically Carlos's ride to die type of companion. I think it's cute. Anyway, I'll try to make Logan find out more in the next chapter. I won't update this for a while. I'll finish writing the other story tomorrow. I should have it posted by Tuesday. Anyway, want tons of reviews or ideas. Plus, looking for a beta so, it'll be a while. Anyway chow, my followers.**


	4. Realizations

**Hey my favorite people in the entire universe of fandom, that is. Anyway, I'm back with another update. Logan is finally starting to get suspicious. Thank God, right. So everything is gonna start to fall into place soon. Warning it's not gonna be just about Ken in this story either. I'm gonna try to make it so Daren starts targeting Jarlos, Jak, Lucille, Jo and Stephanie couple as well. (Don't know the pairing name for these two, so.) So all couples are in deep parrell so he can distract them from finding out the truth behind all his lies. Anyway, I hope y'all like it. I tried my best. Anyway, Review, Favorite, and Follow. I love you all. Enjoy!?**

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**Chapter 3 – Realizations**

(Logan's P, O. V)

For the next few weeks, we started staking out, following Daren and my suspicions were correct. He was nothing, but a self-absorbed, selfish, rude, egotistic, stuck-up prick. I wonder why Kendall even loves this douche. The more I found out, the more I grew to hate him, slowly stirring up the anger that boiled within my veins. Just the thought of him fucking over my Kendall made me pissed to the core, and strangely for the last few weeks those two words seemed to have been constantly wandering in my mind. "My Kendall."

It was getting harder and harder to convince myself that I wasn't in love with Kendall. Now, most of my tired less nights, I go to sleep dreaming of those beautiful, angelic, emerald green eyes staring back at me or to have those small but full creamy, sexy hips wrapped around my waist as I pound into his sweet exotic flesh I so humbly craved, and to see those stained red, miraculous, astounding, remarkable, extraordinary, marvelous plump lips wrapped around my throbbing- . Wait a minute, I'm getting off topic. The worst thing to do is get a raging hard-on in in the Palm Woods lobby.

A camouflage tree hat sat upon my head as I looked into the binoculars. Carlos sat beside me in the tall bushes as our target came into sight. We could see his bright smile as he escorted her into the glass doors. His hand on her lower back, as he turned her to face him and pulled her into a kiss. I growled deeply. Not to mention, a worthless cheating asshole. The blonde wore a purple shape-fitter dress that hugged her shape down to her thighs, as she gawked and flirted with him. The couple made their way to the hallway.

"They're on the move." he whispered, as we ditched our tree hats in the bushes, sneaking behind them, following in careful pursuit.

We moved slowly through the hallway, avoiding their looks behind the big columns and corners as we followed them to 8J. She pulled him into a lustful kiss and my chest growled in pure disgust ,as she dragged him into the dark room. I sighed as I pulled down the binoculars. How dare he? Kendall was amazing, talented, and plain wonderful. Albeit, even a better lover than anyone I've ever dated myself, but he would want to cheat on him. I'm not gonna stand for this. He's going down for sure, if I had anything to do with it.

We walked side by side back to 2J. We entered the nice apartment as we spotted Jamie sitting by a sleeping form. I closed my eyes as My mind drifted into a painful flashback.

**(Flashback) ** _ I laid facing up with my hands under my head, supporting my weight. I couldn't sleep one bit, Mama Knight and the others were in bed. __Well, it was 2am in the morning, who wouldn't? Apparently, my ass. Hearing the soft click of the door, I looked up seeing a broken and battered Kendall. I sat up quickly as I basically ran to his side. Seeing he has bruise on his left cheek, blood ran from his nose, and even more fell from his bloodied lip. I looked at him in horror as I grabbed his chin making him look at me._

_"Kendall, what happened?" I looked at the blond as he tried to decipher the words. _

_I grabbed his hands lightly __and guided him to the bathroom ,and sat Kendall on the close-lidded toilet seat. I put his hand down as I grabbed the first aid kit, as I cleaned his woulds and wiped the blood from his face. Kendall looked away the entire time. Until I finally spoke, my chest constricted with sudden __im__pending fear of what could have happened to my blonde. _

_"__Kendall, tell me what happened?" Kendall closed his eyes, turning his head. I turned him back to me, trying to figure out what was wrong with him. _

_"Kenny?"He opened his mouth slightly. _

_"It's nothing. Really, I'm okay." as he tried to ignore my worried eyes. I couldn't help it when my voice raised._

_ "__Kendall, your cheek is bruised and you have a busted-lip and you say you're fine?!" Kendall flinched slightly and I could see him quiver a little at my touch. My mind wondered ,but stopped when Kendall looked at me with pleading eyes, clearly reading my thoughts._

_ "We don't need to tell them. I just-. Logan please? I can't. I just can't." _

_I looked into his softened eyes with tears in them. Something in my gut told me not to listen and to tell someone, but I couldn't deny those eyes. I sighed.  
_

_"Fine." I decided to let it go._

"Logan, promise me you'll let this go and you'll leave it alone." he said looking at me desperately with a hint of seriousness in his eyes. I opened my mouth ,but closed it stopping myself.

_"Logan, promise me please?" I sighed, giving in._

_ "Fine." he clung to me, but I knew deep in my soul I was l__y__ing. Something was off and I was gonna find out what._

_I finished patching him up and picked up bridle-style, taking him to our room and carefully laid him on his bed. He curled up in his bed and gave me and adorable, shy , cute look that would make anyone close to cumming._

_ "Logan, could I sleep with you, tonight?" I looked at him surprised but nodded as he looked at me sheepishly._

_ He climbed into bed with me, wrapping his arms around my torso, cuddling into me. He laid his head on my broad chest as he slept soundly. I sat up the rest of the night, just listening at the sound of the blond's breathing as he slept, mind on overload.  
_

**(Flashback) **

That was a week ago, and I still thought of that night every day since then. Why did Kendall flinch when I touched him? Why did he even have bruises and scars? Who hurt him? Why did they hurt him? I mean I know he didn'tfall. He was a bit messy, but he wasn't clumsy. If he got some scars, they were self-inflicted by stupid things we put him up to do or dumb things they got themselves into. All these questions remained unanswered. I wanted answers to calm my aching heart. It also made me even more cautious of Daren.

If Ken was supposed to be with him, how could he let him get hurt. My heart hurt that I couldn't figure it out.

"So ,how did it go?" James said as he waved Kendall's bangs out of his eyes. I jolted out of my thoughts.

"He's a pompous ass and a cheating asshole."

"You took the words right out of my mouth, Carlos." as we both looked at James.

"I believe it. He looks like one." as he wrapped his arms around Carlos.

"So, how's Kendall?" I said worried about his condition. He shrugged.

"I don't know, he's been asleep all day." as our eyes gazed back to Kendall.

Our souls filled with dread. Something was wrong with Kendall. He's been doing this a few days in a row. He just slept, no matter what was going on. It drove an energetic Carlos crazy. I hope he was okay . Please let him be okay. Even though deep in my mind, I was dead wrong. Things were just getting worse. Much worse.

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**(Kendall's P. O. V)**

My eyes opened as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, adjusting to the bright light of the sun pouring in through the window, shining into a bright new day. The birds chirped by the shining window as I sat up, stretching my rested muscles. I scanned the area noticing Logan was sitting up, his mouth open, snoring softly. I mustered a light laugh as I draped a small blanket over him. I smiled slightly, as I walked to the kitchen where a plate was laid out for me. A not hung on the sterling fridge.

"_I'll be __back in a few hours. Carlos, James, Katie, And I all went shopping. We'll be back soon. Love, Mom."  
_

I sighed. I guess it's just me and Logie. I ate slowly savoring every bite of said omelet. I didn't seem to eat much, due to Daren. He thought it was best if I ate less due to my weight.

**(Flashback)**

_I laid naked beside him, after intimate love-making. I wrapped my arms around him, trying to cuddle, but he pushed me off._

"I can't", he said. As he got up, pulling up his pants and pulling a shirt over his head.

_"Why not?"  
_

"

_Because I got shit to do, that doesn't include cuddling with you." _

_"With who?"as he grabbed my chin ,making me look at him._

_"It's not your job to ask how ,with who, fucking why. All you need to know is that I'm fucking going. Got it?" I nodded, submittingly._

_"Good. Plus, before you start asking me where I'm going and what I'm doing, you need to put in more dedication in this so called relationship. You should start working out more, you're getting fat. I'm supposed dating a beautiful blonde , not an ugly, fat slut." as he let my body go, letting me fall on the cold wooden floor. Tears flowed down my cheeks like rivers of water falling down a steep waterfall. All I could hear afterward was the forceful __slam of the door behind him, echoing through my ears. _

**(Flashback)  
**

I held back the tears slightly as my phone buzzed. I looked at it seeing the lit up message. "Get you pathetic ass down here. Now."

I shivered slightly. He was mad. About what/ I don't know. I better leave before I anger him more. I quickly showed , slicing a few times to ease my mind for the upcoming dramatic situation. Slowly taking refuge in the slow searing, throbbing pain that filled me and the pain that awaited the fate of my loving boyfriend. I quickly finished and dressed, leaving 2J. I walked down the hallways, my heart pounding even more ferociously with each and every passing second.

I slowly walked down the hall of the third floor as a brunette exited their apartment of 3B. It was Scott. We hung out with him quite a lot before he went on tour that is. He smiled at me, and stopped me by grabbing my wrist lightly. I tried to ignore the sting sensation from my covered up cuts, as I felt the pressure effects shoot through my arm. I masked the pain as he drew me back and looked at me.

"Kendall, why you in such a rush?" I smiled.

"Hey Scott, I have to meet someone . What's got you back so early?" Not caring that I was spending a few moments with an old friend.

" I thought you were supposed to be on tour for another 3 months." he hesitated.

"Well , I was, but some serious injuries happened to some of my best dancers so and other tragic complications too ,so I just decided to come back."

"OK, okay. I'll uh." but he caught me as I almost ran.

"I uh Ken uh." I raised an eyebrow.

"What is it?" I asked, curiously, wondering why he was acting strangely.

"Uh actually, I was wondering, since I'm back, we could do something. I don't know maybe go out to a movie or something or whatever.' I smiled at the sweet notion. My heart dropped as I came back down to earth. Damn, boyfriend.

"Scott, I- I'd love to but I -" I stopped in mid-sentence when down the hall, I could see the door slowly opening from 3K. I could make out his dangerous, angry eyes, looking at me as my breath hitched in my dry throat , making my heart stop abruptly. The seconds didn't seem to past fast enough as it felt like my throat was constricting against me. I couldn't breathe.

"Scott, I have to go, now.' I pulled away from him and walked down the hall to my awaiting death.

"Kendall, wait?!" His hands laid at his sides as he watched the beautiful blonde disappear down the hall slowly letting a bad feeling fill up his aching heart.

The door was closed when I got there and my body froze up and shook as my hand shakily as I reached for the door as I twisted slowly and cautiously. I opened it and closed it, seeing it was dark. I shivered as I felt hands wrap around me from behind."Kenny." I could smell the alcohol as I turned around to face him. I watched as his body waved slightly from the strong alcohol. He held the large bottle as he took a big swig and set it on the table. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he walked closer to me.

"Who the hell was that?" he said lowly and emotionless. No emotion at all and it scared the living hell out of me. He slapped me across the face, sending me to the floor. Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face and it splattered on the floor below me. I looked up at him and quivered as he bent down and grasped me harshly.

"I'm speaking to you, Who the fuck was that?" He spat, as I looked at his eyes that was ablaze and held fiery passion of anger that heavily sparked through them. I sobbed uncontrollably.

"Scott, he asked me out, but I said no." He let me fall as he started pacing.

"It didn't look like you said no." I let out breathy gasps as I felt the burn deep in my throat as the hot tears covered my face as he walked off his fury.

"Gosh ,you are such a fucking whore.' as he yanked me up and through me against the wall, growling as he looked in my eyes that had held nothing in them as his alcohol filled breath hit my face, reeking of Jack Daniels.

"You are such a fucking whore, you know that. You like random guys to feel all over you, huh? You would like to spread your legs for the entire Palm Woods, wouldn't you? Nothing ,but a fucking cock-slut." he kicked me roughly in the ribs, sending pain through my body as he continued his notions.

"You want to leave me?" as he watched the burning hot tears slide down my bruised and bloody cheeks.

"No." I moaned in pure pain as he slapped me again.

"I don't believe you." and he punched me, making blood pour out of my nose. He glared as me intensely.

"No one wants you ,but me. You are a pathetic slut, and a worthless complete waste of space. No one will ever want you after me. Hell, you belong to me." as he flung my broken body to the bed. And bounded my wrists with his brown snake skin belt. I sobbed as he brought the knife to my cheek, and it glimmered against the sunlight that poured in through the window.

"You are nothing. You're mine and no one elses'. No one can ever take my place. As he ran the knife across my stomach cutting bruised flesh. He chuckled darkly.

"You don't go anywhere until I tell you to. You're mine. Say it." as he pressed the knife deeper making me howl out in pain. I sobbed harder.

"I'm yours. I belong to you." as more tears fell from my clouded eyes.

"That's what I like to hear." he said, caressing my cheek like I was the most precious thing in the world.

"All mine." He tied a cloth around my mouth as he tore off my clothes, cutting them as he fucked me roughly, ignoring the blood that pulsed out of me. The cloth drowned out my pain-filled screams as he claimed my body. The blond's silent screams echoed through the quiet halls though no one heard his pain and suffering. The sweaty bodies molded together for the rest of the day as he continuously took the blond over and over again. Deep in Kendall's heart he knew, he was Daren's and he couldn't deny that Daren was his. He loved him. He had to. Right? Knowing deep down that this beautiful monster was the one who held and caged his heart and soul, darkening them both into a deep abyss of pain, depression, and pure utter despair that tied him to this earth.

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**Well, that was all. Sorry for the late update. I've been trying to update all my stories, been busy. Anyway, I'm trying to make him extra possessive towards Ken for a reason. It will be revealed why when Logan starts digging up his past so bear with me. This chapter hurt my heart ,but had to be written. No one else is gonna do it. Anyway for **_2crazy2handle_** I might just kill him ,but Kendall won't be the one to do it. That will be revealed soon too. I'm trying to speed things up so I can finally bring the real drama in. Anyway, the next chapters is finally gonna be about coping so there will be some good Logan loving for Ken very soon. Anyway, I hope y'all enjoyed this. Review. Follow. Favorite. Love you all.**


	5. Bleeding and Aching

**Hello, I'm back with a new chapter. This just came to me more quickly than I thought. Anyway, I'm not really gonna start the coping until the next few chapters until he after he gets pregnant. I already had a chapter I was gonna post until I thought it needed a bit more Logan so I might not post that chapter until after this one and after then I might put this on hiatus so I can finally handle my one-shots. Anyway, this might be a bit Logan-love but not much. Oh, and for my **_Poisoned Heart _**readers, I'm a bit at a standstill. I mean, I don't really do high-school scenes so that's why it's a bit hard. I probably won't post another chapter until a week from now. I'm not sure. Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy it. I tried my all. Anyway, I tried my best, and I hope y'all like this. I want good reviews, favorites, and followers. I'd appreciate it. Love y'all. Enjoy!?  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or it's characters, but I wish I did.**

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** Chapter 4 – Bleeding and Aching**

**(Logan's P. O. V)**

For the past week, I've kinda been, you can say, investigating Daren. I basically started documenting him and the people he talked to. As far as anything goes, Daren is perfect in almost every eye possible. Hell, even Mr. Bitters liked him, and he doesn't like was sickening. I know what you're thinking, why the hell am I doing all of this? Well, I'll tell you why. I've been on edge for the past week, I can't think straight worth a damn after what I saw. I mean every time I think about it , it explodes into a circuit of never-ending questions that I don't even have the intellect to answer. It made me mad as hell, but it also made me feel terrible that I can't do anything, well at least not yet. Every time I think about it, I'm over come with a horrible, indescribable pain and dread I , myself can't begin to makes my heart hurt with the burning intensity of a thousand suns and no matter what I did, it just wouldn't stop. I grimaced painfully as I was brought back to what I saw.

**(Flashback)**

_I was woke up out of my sleep __by stifling sobs. Everyone was asleep as far as knew. Who would be up at this hour? It was 3am. I looked at the alarm clock __on the nightstand. I quickly sat up and saw the bathroom door was creaked open slightly as the light poured in through it, indicating someone was in there. I squinted as I walked towards it, letting the sounds get louder. I looked towards his bed quickly, noticing he wasn't in it. I yawned softly as I called out his name _

_"Kenny?"_

_He didn't answer. I rubbed my eyes as I approached the bathroom. The sobs of pain got louder my heart began to beat fast and loud, ready to jump out of my chest in fear." Kenny?" I whispered shakily, as I cracked it open, leaning back even more as I did so. I gasped as my heart felt like it stopped, slowly ripping painfully as I watched the most terrifying thing I had seen in my lifetime. __Our leader. The most beautiful, gorgeous, confident, joyous, humorous, and just plain bubbly blonde, also known as my bestfriend was sitting with his back against the wall. My heart was screaming in pain and agony as I looked at the pure horror that played out in front of me._

_A small pool of blood lingered on the floor ,staining the tile with it's red dye. Kendall just sat there eyes hard and emotionless as he held the razor as he slid it across his pale gorgeous skin again. It's like my whole world was frozen, I was frozen. My breath was hitched deep in my throat, not allowing me to spe__a__k in anyway possible. No words could express the emotions I felt at this very_ _moment. His arm was completely covered in a thick sheet of blood. The horror only got worse s my vision continued to play with my already broken, tortured soul ,as I scanned his body that was covered in some old and new bruises, __covering his once perfect skin in a darkened color of purple and yellow. I didn't know whether I wanted to cry or scream. I gulped as I looked at the deep cuts that lined his arms and my heart broke in two, devastation clearly evident on my face. I looked into his emerald eyes that once held endless happiness, but instead held pain. I didn't know what to do. I was already on the brink of insanity until I saw gentle tears cascade down his porcelain cheeks, faster and faster, his tears getting heavier.  
_

_I followed my instinct as I rushed and held him close., ripping the dangerous blade out of his grasp, not caring that I cut myself in the process as I picked him up bridle-style, carrying him to my bed .He clung to me painfully ,like a lifeline. I could feel his nails basically dig into my skin, not intending to ever let go as he sobbed into my chest. His blood continued to soak into my shirt but I could care less. Hell, right now I didn't care about my own pain._

_This was about Kendall. I held him close in my protective embrace as he cried, __clutching my shirt tighter and tighter in a tearing hold. I wanted answers, answers to questions I longed to have. How could he do this? Why did he do this? Who gave him the bruises? Why did they think he deserved them? Who's fault was this? Deep down in my soul, I knew the truth ,but truthfully I didn't want to admit it to myself. I'm not gonna lie, everything pointed to him ,but I just wished I was wrong.  
_

_Kendall in a way is silly, outgoing, and in another way intellectual. Why would he want to hurt him? I couldn't put into words the stabbing pain I felt when I felt him flinch away from my touch. I wiped away his tears as he held tighter, feeling the blonde calm down a little. I promise that whatever had caused his violent reactions, I would stop it and stop the person who caused them even if it takes a lifetime, even it's kills me inside and slowly burned and destroyed my inner core from the inside out._

**(Flashback)  
**

Every-time I think about that night, it's makes my wither, ache and darken a little bit more. I couldn't think of any logical explanation of why he would do something like that to himself. Does he enjoy causing himself pain? I mean this went against everything I ever known about him. This was not like Kendall at all. When I looked at his bruises and cuts, I couldn't help ,but feel like I should be blamed** . **I'm his bestfriend, how could I not know he was cutting himself. Hell, how could he not tell me about this? What could be so bad that he had to hide it from me? Just the thought of the beautiful blonde cutting the wrong vein made my mind move so fast it felt like it was on the edge of exploding any second and made my aching heart bleed uncontrollably. No matter how hard I tried my, I couldn't get this situation off my mind. Hell, I barely slept a full 8 hours in the past 4 days. I feel so screwed up right now.

I don't even know what to do. After that night, I tried to get him to tell me what happened that night, but he avoided it all costs. After he refused to answer, I stopped asking ,but doesn't mean I am gonna stop from finding out. I started to be at Ken's side more frequently, trying to keep him busy and getting him to stay at our apartment. I wanted him nowhere near Daren, not until I figured things out. Something just wasn't right. The less I found out , the more mad I got about Daren seeming to have the perfect cover for his persona. It pissed me off to no end. No one had anything bad to say about him. Slick bastard. All I heard was some people saying Ken has been acting strange, but even though I knew what he was doing, doesn't mean I want the whole Palm Woods to know. It hurt me that I was keeping this to myself, but it was bad enough he barely trusts me, he'd hate me if I told. Plus, I didn't know how he truly got the bruises, I was relying on an assumption. Plus if I did, who would believe me , as for as anyone else knows, Daren does no wrong. A thought quickly came to me, I decided to confide in James and Carlos. They were furious ,but concerned he would do this. When I told them it could possibly be Daren, we all knew we would stop at nothing to get rid of him. We knew we couldn't tell him, so we decided we're gonna have to do this in pure secret. They all wanted to help the blonde ,but they knew it would be hard. Deep down the brunette know Kendall might hate him forever for this but, this was for his own good, as we watched to the closed room intensively, where a certain blonde was sleeping, heart aching as the many nightmares claimed his malfunctioning mind.

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**Sorry, it's so short but I will post the next chapter soon. I tried my best. I'm speeding it up a little. In the next chapter, you'll find out what caused him to do that. I'm trying to make Logan a bit more sensitive and protective of Ken in the next few chapters. It'll mean a lot when he gets pregnant. Anyway, I'm trying to make more tragedy come in this story, but will only happen in small bits as for now but the drama is coming soon. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this. I just decided to to post this since I posted a chapter on my other story. It's only fair, plus I just couldn't help myself. Anyway, I hope you all liked it. I hope I get good reviews, follows, and favorites behind this chapter. Plus, thanks for the love y'all posted on my other chapter, you all make so so happy. Anyway, I'm out. Thanks for reading?! I love you all.**


	6. Coping

**Hello, I'm back with a new chapter. This just came to me more quickly than I thought. I'm sorry if this seems a bit rushed but I'm trying to get to the Kogan as fast as I can. I'm trying to hurry up and bring the drama in. I personally can't wait for it either, and I haven't even written it yet. This is finally the becoming of the mpreg chapters. Yay. Anyway, I'm trying to make Logan pull away, but he will come back sooner than you think. Logan is gonna play a big part in this while he's pregnant and so will the other couples, just you wait. Thank you all for my followers, favoriters, and reviewers for sticking with my crazy ass. It meant a lot to me to be getting this type of love. There is not gonna be a coping chapter yet, this is mainly about Logan's thoughts on things so and about some Kendall too. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy, I cut it a bit short because I didn't want the real drama to come yet. It probably won't be until the next chapter and the rest is gonna be about Daren so bare with me. AKA, might be some Dustin, too. I hope y'all enjoy it. I tried my best. I'll do it soon because y'all might wanna know if he actually cheated or not so yeah I'll get back to that for sure. Anyway, I tried my best, and I hope y'all like this. I want good reviews, favorites, and followers. I'd appreciate it. Love y'all. Enjoy!?**

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****

Chapter 5 – Coping

(Logan's P. O. V)  


In the past the two weeks, Kendall and I have grown abnormally closer. I tried to help him in any way I possibly could, being his shoulder to cry on, and plain being there in general. I spent most of my nights with my arms wrapped around his angelic frame, being there for each and every nightmare that woke him up every night, even though he continued to tell me nothing about his whereabouts. I continued to appraise him even though he refused to talk to me. I was there every night as he cried out his pain, and I am determined to keep doing that no matter what. I did my best to help him and I knew deep in my soul that I would never leave his side. I would never stop trying to make him happy. If it took an eternity, so what? He was the sun in my solar system and I would make sure not anyone ,not even Daren, was gonna stop my angel from shining. As for the case of James and Carlos, They got him kicked out from sleeping with Mr. Bitters assistant. The memory slowly came to my mind as I held the gorgeous sleeping beauty tighter, slowly letting him curl up into me.

**(Flashback)**

_"The fuck?" as Carlos, Camille, and I __entered the crowded lobby where Daren stood with his posse. Mr. Bitters and Daren was having a heated argument. We watched as Daren spotted us and angrily walked towards me, but strangely, for once, I felt no fear. Just anger and I knew who I was gonna take it out on._

"You." He growled as he lifted me by shirt. Gasps whispers were heard as my feet descended above the floor, dangling as I held a blank expression.  


_"__You little son of a bitch, this is all of your fault." as he punched me to the floor , kicking me in the ribs. The gasps got louder as he continued, my lungs in a state of combustion, as his ministrations got rougher. I heard the faint noise of Camille begging him to stop. I felt him stop and I found myself spitting out a small amount of blood a I held my chest.  
_

_"What's wrong Logie, had enough?" I growled deep withing my throat as he talked, as the blood steadily poured out of my mouth. I found myself being lifted and the pain hit me like a sharp knife. I groaned as he stood me up, my form wobbling slightly._

_"You're nothing but a pathetic, useless nerd." he leaned to my ear slowly.  
_

_"And so is your little __slut Kendall too." That made my heart burst in anger. I felt the strings of my calmness cut away from my aching heart, slowly floating away leaving me only to see red as I tackled him to the floor throwing countless punches. I was so mad I didn't know what to do. All I knew was I wanted him to feel Kendall's pain. Everything he's ever done to my precious blonde, __leaving me to pick of the pieces of the blonde's shattered heart. I didn't care that blood was smeared all over my hand or the pain he was in as I found myself giving into the man in me that wanted him gone and I couldn't figure out the slightest way of how to cage him up again, to finally stop punching him. I found myself being lifted away by no other than Carlos and I couldn't stop my subconscious from yelling out how it really felt._

__

"It's Logan, you ass ,and no one talks about him like that.' I shouted, as I tried to fight off the young Latino.

_"I'll fucking kill you!?" I almost broke from Carlos, but I got held back by none other than Dak. I found it slightly surprising though ,because he mostly started fights, he didn't stop them.  
_

_"Calm down, bunny rabbit." as he put a hand on my shoulder. My chests heaved uncontrollably as I puffed in anger, only to be slightly satisfied by what I've done, but couldn't help but think he deserved something much worse. Daren wiped the blood off his lips, swaying.  
_

_"I knew it, you are nothing but a coward, hiding behind your friends." I was about to jump and kick him, but my thoughts were drowned out by Mr. Bitters. _

_"That's enough" as he pointed at me accusingly._

_"You're on thin ice, Mitchell for fighting in my lobby." and then he pointed __at Daren._

"As for you, I want you out of my hotel. Now." he huffed , as he pulled out of his posse arms. 

_"It doesn't matter anyway, because they're both still whores. I heard Steven was treating Jaime real good." We all watched as something just sparked in Carlos, but vanished as quick as it came. Instead, he just let out a low chuckle as he walked over to him._

__

"Funny, so are you.' as he drew back his fist and punched the wind out of Daren, sending him over the table as he stumbled back. Carlos loomed over him.

_"And, no one calls him Jamie, but me." as he grabbed me by my shirt ,tugging me away from the appalled audience. We heard Mr. Bitters yelling as we walked off._

_"Get out of here, there's nothing to see here or you're all be evicted." and they all scrambled away._

We all knew this wasn't over. Hell, this was too easy._ It wasn't gonna be enough to just kick him out. He would be back. __ It was just the beginning of the horrid war over my angel._

**(Flashback)  
**

I truly never seen Carlos react like that, but it didn't surprise me one bit. Carlos was like one of those silent storms, but even though it's quiet doesn't mean it won't tear some shit up. That's what made Carlos special, unique, to always take up for his friends no matter what and that he would never let anyone insult or even lay a hand on James without them have something broken after-wards. I loved that about him, mostly James ,because ,well they are together. I looked towards the sleeping beauty in my arms, so delicate, fragile.

I truthfully was enjoying this, to constantly have the blonde resting in my arms, sending me into an undeniable state of peace and bliss just to have him by my side. I wanted to be the one to make love to him ,but I wasn't. I couldn't. It was so fucking hard to face the harsh reality everyday that he wasn't mine. I wanted to be the one to hold him, love him, but I couldn't. I got a girlfriend a week after the incident. It hurt much to do so , but I thought it was the only way to keep my feelings for Kenny at bay. She was pretty, long hair, brown eyes. Her name was Serene Edwards. She was great in a straight guys description, but I didn't love her. She didn't do things to pull at my heart strings like Kendall did.

I mean he was magnificently gorgeous and perfect. I didn't want her, I wanted him. The beautiful blond that plagued my never-ending thoughts. She was okay, nice smile, talented but she wasn't the one I wanted to be with. I wanted to be with my blonde, the one my heart originally belongs to. The one who makes me feel things no one else ever could. He was the center of my universe. No matter what I did, I couldn't keep him off my mind. Every moment we spend together makes me fall in love even more harder than the last.

My head was so screwed up right now, I couldn't think straight without thinking of his unconditional love I craved. He was the reason I woke up and went to sleep everyday. Call me a bit crazy, but it seems like my heart breaks a little bit more everyday that he can't be mine. The person who made me fall so hard. Every time I look at him, my heart falls out of my chest and each passing day, it was getting harder and harder to pick it up again. He was the strain on my soul, slowly putting it in a slow state of combustion and never-ending heartbreak and despair. Every night, him tearing my heart a little bit more. I couldn't help the anger that fueled within me in the deep depths of my soul. I hated Daren so much.

That he was the one who held my soul-mates heart prisoner. He does nothing for him. Hell, he didn't deserve him. That's what made this hard. Kendall could have so much more. It was unfair that he had someone as sweet ,and as delicate as Kendall for a lover. Right now I hated the mention of love, just because of Daren. Love is the thing us superior beings in this universe created to fill the hole in our broken hearts, that ever so slowly grows larger and larger, and it sucked. Too bad it only made the hole bigger, as I looked back at his small form.

Kendall was an angel. Every time I looked at him, that's the only thought that came to mind. A fallen angel, wings ripped from his delicate body, his pride stripped away, and his heart being thrown to someone as hopeless and useless as Daren, but I was gonna steal Kendall's heart back from the same asshole who never deserved it in the first place, to feel the blonde's hands roaming over him, to feel him pressed against him just to feel his warmth, to be able to kiss his beautiful lips, or to have the blonde look at him with so much love. It made me want to kill him.

How dare he steal Kendall away. I was there first. It sounds childish , but I've always been there for him. We were best friend's for God's sake. Why couldn't it have been me? How come the blonde couldn't love me, like he loves Daren? How come I wasn't good enough? Hell, was he good enough? I stared at the sleeping angel with a sigh ,as he held onto me tighter. When the center of a soul is broken in two, a man realizes something horrible and beautiful about it all at once. All the center of us is nothing ,but a dark abyss of lies and bitter truths. The harsh reality of things. That's all we are , a harsh reality. Kendall whimpered in his sleep once again. I curved my arm around him as I kissed his forehead, calming him as I felt myself slowly slip into unconsciousness, dreaming of none other than the beautiful man beside me.

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**Sorry, I decided to cut it short. I took out the Kendall and Dustin scenes to make the next chapter longer. Anyway, I put in the fight scene because y'all demanded it ,so I must oblige. Anyway, I hope y'all all enjoyed the peak into Logan's mind. The next chapter is gonna be the beginning of mpreg. Yay!? I tried hard on this chapter so I hope y'all like this. I hope I get good reviews, favorites, and follows behind this. I love you all**. **Until next time, Genora.** .


	7. Tragedy

**Hello my fellow readers, I'm back with a new chapter. Yay! I'm so happy. I already have 25 reviews. Next thing you know, I'll have 50. Haha. Anyway, this is finally the start of the mpreg chapters, isn't that awesome? This is mostly about Kendall in the first part then I'll add some Logan for good measure. I know you were all wondering why Kendall was cutting and crying in my oldest chapter, Bleeding and Aching. Well, this chapter will explain that. Oh, there also will be some Jak too. In this chapter, it's mainly about Kendall though. I haven't included him in a few chapters so I'm doing it now. For the title of this chapter, it kinda explains it all.**

**Anyway, I'm gonna say, I'm not gonna be updating some of my stories in a while. I find myself putting a lot of dedication and attention into this story. As for my other three, I'm not gonna post a chapter for **_Poisoned Heart_** until I truly know what I'm gonna do. I'm not gonna do a crappy chapter just because I wanna post. Well, I'll try not to. Y'all at least deserve that. As for a Blood-Stained Romance, I'll be paying lots of attention to that too. I just wanted to tell y'all so y'all didn't think I wouldn't continue them. Well, I am. It's just gonna take some time. Anyway, thank you all for your reviews, follows, and favorites. It really meant a lot to me. Anyway, I personally wanna thank**_ Life the Ranger_** for giving me some great advice a while back .It made my night ,and I really needed that. I thank you. He's a good writer too. If you like sub-Kendall fics, you should really read his. They're really wonderful. Not to mention, he also added to my new friend list. Yay!, Love ya. Anyway, let me stop talking , I hope you all enjoy. I tried my best, like usual. I hope I get good reviews, follows, and favorites. I'd appreciate it. Love you all. Enjoy!?**

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**Chapter 6 – Tragedy **

**(Kendall's P. O. V)**

I awoke from my deep slumber, yawning as I moved slightly. I felt Logan's arm tighten around my small form, drawing me closer. I blushed slightly at the change of position. I lifted my head from Logan's chest, looking up at his sleeping face. I couldn't deny the fact that I loved waking up in Logan's arms. The safe and secure feeling in them made me not want to stop and that was exactly what I needed right now. A week ago, I went to the doctor alone and found out I was pregnant. A month and a half to be exact. I wanted to tell Logan with every fiber in my being ,but I knew deep down he just wouldn't understand. I didn't know the slightest thing to do. My mind began to drift back to when I told Daren, making me curl deeper into him.

(Flashback)

_It was happening again, the complete unbearable pain shooting up my spine,_ _making_ a_n__ energy explode in me, making me cower in agony, as he constantly kicked my body. He slammed me against __the wall and I lain as I tried to protect my stomach, sobbing and not knowing what else to do. My chest hurt and burned as I continued to sob out my painful tears. My tears burning __down__ my __milky__ cheeks._

"_Please stop" I begged, He forced me against the wall, holding me by my wrists and his face merely inches from mine as I squirmed._

_"Daren , please? I'm pregnant." His face contorted in confusion as I waited for the pain to commence, but it never did. He let me fall to the floor as he stepped back. A mix of emotions ran across his face until it stopped at the emotion I most feared, anger._ _He growled as he looked at me, and I scurried to the wall, holding my stomach as I cried. He began to pace back and forth. _

_"Look, get rid of it." I couldn't help ,but gasp as I choked back a sob. My tears flowed endlessly as my heart basically felt like it fell out of my chest, stopping for what felt like an eternity. _

_"How could you say that? This is not an 'it'. This is our child." I whispered softly, as I clutched my stomach tightly. Not believing, what he just said. __He grabbed me by my arms and held them in a bone-crushing hold as he looked me in the eyes._

_"You do what I tell you to do and I want it gone. Like all I need is a good for nothing, bratty baby making my job harder. You're getting an abortion, and if you don't I'll make sure we don't have to deal with our little problem ever again." he growled out, as he clutched my wrists, giving me a menacing glare. I sank lower to the floor as I continued to cry. He slammed the door, ignoring my sobs of pain and sorrow.  
_

**(Flashback)  
**

I felt tears sting my eyes at the memory, streaming down my pale face. I knew he didn't want the baby, but I couldn't do it though, I just can't. I'm not sure what to do, but I couldn't hurt my baby, could I? There was this nagging feeling in my gut stopping me, and the more I thought about it, he was right. How am I gonna raise a baby? What about BTR? I was so confused.

Everyday since then, the nightmares were getting worse which made me stick to Logan like he was my lifeline, wishing he could make it all go away. I knew Logan was getting suspicious at my sudden behavior, but I couldn't tell him. The horrid reality. I knew he was my bestfriend, but there was just some things I couldn't tell him and it made my heart hurt down to the core. I didn't know how long I had been crying, but next thing I knew my phone was going off. I looked at it and I was instantly reminded of my appointment, letting my soul fill with dread as I let the news sink in. I asked Dustin, our band's guitarist, to go with me and he agreed.

I would have gone with Logan ,but the last thing I wanted was him to find out about this. I instantly got up and got ready. I dressed quickly and looked into our full-body mirror. I lifted up my shirt slightly, as I gazed at my stomach, running a hand over the soft, smooth flesh. Many thoughts ran through my head ,but I pushed them back as I heard the soft knock of the door. I took a deep breath as I pulled my shirt down, got my things and went out the room to open the door where Dustin was waiting. I closed the door to see a glimpse of Logan and looked down with dread as I closed the front door. It didn't take us long to arrive at the clinic where he parked and just stared at me.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" as he sat back in his seat, giving me a 'You know what I'm talking about ' look. I looked away ,but I couldn't deny that I could feel his stare burning through my skull. I stayed silent.

"Ken, this is not like you. I mean, I personally thought we weren't gonna get this far. You are more defiant if nothing else, so I was expecting a protest to take you home by now. Hell, anyone would notice this." I felt my heart drop as I leaned back in thought.

"Dustin, I don't know, but I can't keep it either." An expression ran across his face quickly.

"Why not? You basically raised Katie and she turned out fine." I shot him a look.

"Okay, a bit of a gambler, but she turned out okay." I shook my head, as he smiled, making me chuckle slightly.

"And what's with this 'it' business. I mean I know you're a bit crazy at times, but you're not heartless. Why can't you do this or is this because of your loving prick?" I frowned.

"Dustin, this is the act of my own free will." I said, looking away from his piercing eyes, knowing deep down, I was lying.

"Bullshit, I know you would never do this unless you had a life changing reason." I found myself looking down at my hands and he sighed.

"Look, I'm just saying, don't jump into this. At least think about what you're doing, give it some time. Once you do this, you can't take it back. This could be a huge mistake." he said, softly.

"Everything doesn't have consequences, Dustin." I snapped, as I finally had the nerve to look his way.

"But everything has doubts and regrets." He retorted, making my gut churn. I sighed as I got out of the car.

"You can pick me up after I'm done.' as I walked off, not wanting to hear another word. I slowly watched as the car drive out of site. I knew he was partly right and everything in my heart told me so, but this was my decision to make. I found myself walking toward the big tan concrete building, but I was topped as I was pulled into an alley. A hand was covering my mouth as my heart jumped in fright. I looked at him for a second and noticed it was no other than of one of Daren's goons. My eyes were big as he held a knife up to my face.

"You've been avoiding Daren have you?" as he put the knife up to my neck. I stayed silent as he dug the knife deeper into my neck.

"I haven't." I whispered, shakily. The guy smiled evilly.

"You know, he doesn't appreciate you hiding from him after one of your pals set him up. So, he wanted me to pass on a little message." I tried to figure out what he meant, but instead he punched me to the black hardened asphalt.

Blood poured out of my mouth as he kicked me, making my body converse in pain. My lungs burning as I continued to gasp for breath. The punches became harder and each one shot agonizing pain up my spine. Tears streamed down my face as he abused my frail body. All I thought was why Daren would do this? He's done everything he asked? What did he mean by 'one of my pals set him up'. Many questions circled threw my mind as I felt myself slip away into unconsciousness. All I could think of was Logan as I cried out in pain, letting my world fade to black.

**(Dak P. O. V) **

I carefully listened as my lover chewed me out. I love Jett with all of my heart. I mean I had a crush on him for 2 years until I finally got up the nerve to ask him out. Hell, I was surprised when he agreed to go out with me. He meant the world to me. He was the love of my life, but he was chewing me out about the girls I've seen with. I truthfully didn't want to be, but I had to keep up a certain image.

I couldn't do that if I wasn't seen with other women. It wasn't like I was out. I mean no one knew I was with Jett except some people at the Palm Woods.I wanted to come out ,but there was a big chance he could lose his entire career. I mean it's easy for me to give up something, but it's harder when someone else is involved. I couldn't do that to him, plus I didn't even know why he was mad. I mean it's not like I was fucking them. I mean no matter who I'm with, I'll always come to him. I love him. What part of that didn't he understand. My mind cut itself off when I saw something moving in the nearby alley. As we got closer, I could make out a tall blonde. That kind looked- Could it be? I squinted as I shushed Jett.

"Did you just shush me?" as he looked at me with disbelief.

"Just look." as I pointed up ahead.

"Is it one of your many whores?' I rolled my eyes at his assumption. I heard as he gasped as he saw what I saw. He ran off. Oh, now he believes me. I felt myself being tugged as we ran into the alley to see something you would probably see I a nightmare. Kendall was cover in blood and bruises.

I watched as Jett propped up his head and looked at me in horror at the sight. After I finally could pull myself out of the internal shock, I called 911. In no time we could hear, the ambulance sirens blaring in the distance. It stopped as they all rushed out of the ambulance. I held Jett as they took him away. I tried to keep a straight face as they tried to help them. Jett and I was just stunned. I looked at him, giving him a look that said it all. We stood silently as we watched the horror unfold.

* * *

**(Logan's P.O.V) **

I was woken up by my phone ringing agonizingly. I pressed end once I realized it just Camille and I snuggled back into the covers. A second later it rang again and I finally found the urge to pick it up. I groaned as I held the I-phone to my ear.

"Yes, Camille. What is it?" I could hear her sniffling and I arched an eyebrow.

"Logan, somethings wrong with Kendall." I found myself wide awake as my eyes bulged out of my head. I instantly got up, looking around slightly. My world felt like it came to a stop. The spinning slightly as I tried to interpret what she just said. My breath hitched in my throat, clenching so I couldn't breathe. No Kendall. Shit.

I instantly found my pants, slipping them on quickly, staggering slightly as I ran rapidly around the room. Camille told me where he was and I grabbed the BTR mobile's keys and sped off. I was praying in my soul, she has to be playing some cruel joke on me. It couldn't be true. What could have happened to my Kenny? Many thoughts ran through my head , making my mind move in hyper-drive. What was wrong with him? Did he get hurt? Was he okay? Who did it?, and my thoughts stopped at that one question. Daren. I'm gonna kill him. If something is wrong with my angel, he is so dead.

I found myself almost speeding, not caring about what traffic laws I was breaking. My heart was hammering in my chest as I thought of the possible things that could have happened. My heart was slowly breaking as I neared the hospital. Each passing second made me want to die at the thought of what could be happening. All I could think of, how could I let him leave? None of this would have happened if I would have watched him closely.

There's no telling what could have happened. I could feel myself want o pass out as the thoughts of Kendall covered in blood ran across my mind, making me want to cry on the ride to the hospital that never seemed to end. When I finally arrived, I ran through the hospital halls only to see everyone else was here. Mrs. Knight was already in tears. Dak sat beside Jett who's shirt was covered in blood and my heart stopped. James and Carlos sat side by side while, Katie, Camille, Stephanie, Jo, and Lucy was standing. They all began to look at me and the silence was killing me. Camille walked over to me.

"What-" I found myself at a loss for words as I sighed. She put a hand on my shoulder.

"We don't know, but they said it was bad. They had to resuscitate him four times and it's only been two hours." I felt my soul plummet down to my stomach, as I felt nausea come over me, making me me sit beside James and Carlos. I felt devastated. What did Daren do to him? I felt anger build up in the pit of my stomach as I stood and punched the wall as hard as I could, making them jump. I didn't even care about the pain that flooded throughout my body. I growled as I walked off to blow off some steam.

I wanted to gut Daren, make him bleed and to, for once make him feel what it's like to be in pain. I wanted to choke the life out of him. If I could kill him right now, I would. He deserves no mercy after what he's done. I paced back and forth as the anger flared deep within me, making my body feel like it was on fire. My body shook with adrenaline as the images of Kendall plagued my mind only fueling my anger, all his bruises, his tears. It made me mad beyond any comprehension. I felt a hand on my shoulder once more. I felt my hands clench and unclench. I turned around to see Camille and she hugged my torso. My eyes held no emotion as my blood boiled. Daren was gonna pay. He was gonna pay.

The wait seemed to go on for hours. We all sat, eyes wet with tears as we waited patiently for an answer on Kendall's condition. We soon heard the footsteps as the man who seemed to look nothing older than his early- thirties. It's like the world seemed to slow down as he listed the injuries Kendall endured. I looked at the x-ray emotionless and he said the one thing that made me want to scream. They said he was in a coma and it made me pissed to no end. I'd rather it have been Daren instead of my beautiful angel. Why him?

"We weren't sure at first, but we did it again and it came out as the same result. He's pregnant". We all looked at the doctor stunned, and it felt like my whole world went up in flames and shattered beneath my feet. I wasn't the only one shocked. Mama Knight looked as if here eyes would pop right out of her head.

"Come again?" She said, equally confused.

"He's pregnant. I'd say about nine weeks." We all looked at her. She nodded.

"Okay, I just wanted to make sure I heard you correctly." as we watched as her body swayed and she passed out on the floor. We watched her unconscious form in shock. It shocked me as well. He's pregnant with Daren's baby. Silence fell on the group as we all looked through the glass window to see a bruised, pale, and battered Kendall. It made me want to cry at the horrid bruises. We all knew deep in our souls, all hell was about to break loose.

* * *

**Phew, I'm finally done. I hope you all enjoyed it. I tried my best. I had one of Daren's goon do the beating because only a coward sends his buddies to do his dirty work. That's how I see it and that's how I see his character. As for Daren getting his revenge, I wanted him to not only hurt Ken but hurt Logan as well. Emotional pain is more worse than physical pain. Also, I hope y'all enjoyed the Dustin action. I thought it was cute just to show that he cares as much as Logan does, well as much as Logan will. I forgot, it hasn't hasn't happened yet. Also, I wanted Logan like a true man would. I just wanted him to show how he truly felt about it all. Anyway, thanks for reading. Review, Follow, and Favorite. I love you all. Goodnight. Hugs and Kisses, Genora**


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